You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
