Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
