margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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