last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have aggressive nipples.
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