My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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