is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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