The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
