winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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