so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
