Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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