But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
