im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
