That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
