They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
