you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
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He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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