great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
