in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
