i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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