Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
