its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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