He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize