The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Houston, we have a blender
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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