your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
