how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
