I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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