I forgot how hot balto sounded
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
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I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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