Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i think i have herpe
just one?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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