I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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