I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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