I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
50% drunk capacity currently
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
