i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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