whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can I color on your dick again?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
