And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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