i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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