I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
