My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Farmville is her only friend.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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