just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
