She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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