she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it glows. i had to have it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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