why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
