Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize