He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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