My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
