I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize