So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
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Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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