Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
