At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
