I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
