Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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