there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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