woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize