Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
