i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize