I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ttyl tear gas
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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