I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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