That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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