Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
